I have a question(beware I am in one of my moods and regrettably, I don't think Scarlet has anything to do with it). When a person is feeling down it is natural (correct me if I'm wrong) to look at the brighter side of other people's lives. I wish I had full time help like so-n-so, I wish I had a car like him, Wouldn't it be great to have the quality of like that that person over there? You know, the general wanting-to-be-like-the-Jones'-thing. I have been told on a number of occasions that it is not right to compare with others; her kids that listen, her husband that helps and is often there, her lovely clean house. You just have to not compare.
Here comes my question; Why is it wrong to compare to others that have more than you? (I'm not talking about jealousy or envy or comparing in an mean spirited way, I'm talking about wanting it in a strive to better the ways your life isn't. Does that make sense?) The moment one starts the proverbial "bitching" about what more they want, there are those "helpful" souls with the best intentions, who are the ones that told you not to compare in the first place, that remind you of how much more you have than others. Isn't this a little contradictory? I may not compare to strive or want more, but I can compare myself to those who have less or are worse off then I am in attempt to make my lot seem rosier.
I'm confused, so I'm just asking.
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I think it is fine, as long as comparing / wanting / striving doesn't make you feel worse than you already do.
But on that note, you know what I hate? that people can't seem to handle other people's sadness. They just want to make it better. "oh, look how much you have to be grateful for", look at all the wonderful things in your life! stop being sad!
stop being sad because you being sad makes me feel bad and i dont like that.
i people would allow you to have a
'moment'. a moment where you are sad / mad / cross / jealous / depressed / whatever. its ok to be sad. you wont be sad for ever, but allow the person to just be in that moment. sit with them, dont try and talk them out of it.
Not that *I* have a bee in my bonnet about that :-)
(I don't have Scarlet to blame either!!)
xxxx
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