Complicated Women

Who would have thought that the universal (often alien, it has been said)phenomenon that is a woman, actually begins from a very early age. That the complexities of being female don't necessarily begin at puberty as I have lately discovered via a particular little Madam that resides in our household.

I'm not that experienced on the whole Love languages concept, I have all the books by the way, I just never really got around to reading them. I was very curious to learn my husbands love language, which, as the bad wife in me is about to reveal, I still do not know. He is rather complex, the strong silent type, that nothing seems to phase, or at least doesn't show it, doesn't get all gaa gaa over gifts, in fact I think last years Valentine's chocolates are still lurking in the back of his cupboard.

When it comes to the love languages of children, (another book I have got but haven't gotten around to), I have discovered without a doubt that my daughter doesn't have one love language, she has them all. Madam fluff is a quality attention seeking, gift loving, affirmation craving, touch feely huggy complicated little female. Unfortunately one of the things I am least able to offer her in the afternoons when it is time to do Kade's homework is obviously attention and quality time, which is exactly the time when she wants it..go figure!....

I had a chat with Madam Fluff's teacher yesterday after school and during the discussion the topic came up about how I struggle to get on with Mr's homework because Fluff just won't let us get on with it. Miss Ab's suggestion saved my life and my afternoon..PS...I love you....

Miss Ab told me that during the course of this week they were learning about the letter "S" and suggested that I haul out some old magazines, give her her own little homework book and make her cut out anything in the magazine that she could find that started with the letter "S".
OK, so you're thinking that it didn't need a brain surgeon to figure that out but her next proposal surprised me and made me so happy that this woman was prepared to take time out of her morning to make my afternoons easier, I now love her even more. Teacher Ab told me to send Madam Fluff's "homework" to school everyday and she would tick it and mark it and put stars on it if the cutting and sticking was top notch. Needless to say, homework yesterday afternoon was absolute bliss. Madam Fluff had an absolute ball, being this big school girl that had her own very important, VIP no less, homework of her very own.

Madam Fluff dressed herself up this morning in her prettiest skirt, top and her "high heels" or as she calls them, her clop clop shoes (because we are so very big now) and paraded into school with her diary in one hand (my old one from last year...which I pray doesn't have too much revealing info left in it), her bag draped over her shoulder and her homework book cradled protectively in the other arm.
Instead of the dread and anxiety that befalls me every morning when I take her to school (she still hangs onto my legs when I try to leave the building), I felt this immense sense of pride in this little Madam who thinks she is so very grown up now and is happily sashaying her little hips and clop-clopping up the passage. I feel absolute gratitude and appreciation for her Teacher who probably has no idea how her effort to make my afternoon yesterday a little easier made so much difference in two very complicated women's lives.

My split personality

From time to time I sit here (in front of my PC) and think, what do I say? or better yet, how do I say it? I have so many things churning away in my head, at times, like a washing machine, sometimes going slowly, careful making sure each item gets a little soap and softener and then other times it is just spinning so fast that to stop the machine at that moment would completely break the cycle and perhaps a few mechanical parts.

I recently read a fellow blogger's notes that put it all into perspective, something in me awoke and said HELLO!! this is what I am talking about, how did you know?? The song "killing me softly" came to mind. Have you been reading my thoughts and then blogging them on my behalf? OK I think not. So I'll try to explain it as best as I can, keeping my "machine", hopefully, on a constant cycle.

I have a split personality. There I said it. There are officially two people living in my brain.

There is Tanya the go-go-girl, the one who is optimistic and full of gusto and spends her time listing over and over again the tasks that need to be set out for the day, the week, the month..it goes on, she doesn't stop, I must, I must, I must sparkle those toilets today, suck the life out that dust lurking in the *entire house*, sing along with Mr. Muscle and KFM on the kitchen floor, have lunch and supper prepared before anybody gets home, have done all her DARLING husband's admin for the day,have it all neatly and prettily prepared and laid out for him to check when he makes "his arrival", upon which she will meet him at the door, with a loving smile and cheerful school girlish giggle, she will run to him and leap into his arms (hopefully without killing him or crushing him) and inform him with love and lust the he is the best thing that she has seen this ENTIRE day. The children will be happy and smiling, gleaming from their baths, hair neatly combed and tummies filled, she will tuck them all into bed, singing and humming beautiful bed time prayers and songs and they will drift off into slumber land with smiles on their cherub faces and have the sweetest of dreams. She will merrily complete the day's tasks leaving the house sparkling clean and fresh for the new day before ravaging her husband in ways that only she knows how and that he likes best!

Right now Tanya the no-no-girl is trying to step in, she is the one who walks into the house after having dropped the kids off in the morning at school, stands at the front door and thinks "shit, this place is a mess!" Bugger! she forgot to pay the school photo's again, does she HAVE to go and sit on the Computer now and finish all that paper work, trying to ignore the little "launch internet explorer browser" icon calling her from the bottom of the desktop. Trying desperately to keep her mind wondering about what every one has been up to on Facebook.
Coffee, coffee, maybe if she has some coffee, things will look a little clearer, then again, if she doesn't go into the kitchen, she won't be reminded of all the breakfast dishes that still need to be washed and the laundry waiting on the kitchen counter, deliberately left there by go-go-girl in the hope that we would do ironing too this morning. How many hours do I have before I have to pick up Snuggle Bug?

"Yes, I know, I heard her, go-go-girl wants to tackle the kids' rooms before they get home, but the little buggers left the smallest little lego's strewn all over both bedrooms, no-no-girl wonders if the vacuum cleaner is strong enough? maybe they won't notice if the lego tub is only half full this afternoon?? Crap, look at the time! Maybe she could get away with throwing all the toys into the toy box for another time when go-go-girl feels it's time to alphabetize the toys again, that could work. No-no-girl is constantly tired, needing more sleep, coffee, tonics, just to stay awake for the day, never mind tackle all the things that need to be tackled, sometimes she wishes that the tasks were real physical things that she COULD tackle and smack them and say YOU SHIT, you made my day hell today, why couldn't you just stay away.

There are times when go-go-girl and no-no-girl reach a compromise, yes there are those times, strained, awkward and with very little said, they co-operate now and again and meet each other half way. Hopefully like now, with 2 and a half hours and counting before we fetch Snuggle Bug.

Words of Wisdom

Some times the wisdom of a 6 and a half year old can really knock your breath away. While I was typing away, bragging about the conquests of my Snuggle Bug, I left my kids *almost* to their own devices. They were happily drawing, colouring and cutting while I tapped away hurriedly on my story before they noticed I was missing in action.

I went through to the lounge to be surprised and amazed at the beautiful works of art my little Picasso's had created. Madam Fluff, however had completely destroyed (don't ask me how) my favourite pen. While I am having a little huff and a puff, while serving them up their dinner, Kade walks up to me and says "Mom, you know, I really know how you feel." HUH? "Remember" he continues "when I built that robot with my lego's that I really liked and they completely destroyed it?" Hhmm, I'm listening "Well, Mom I just forgived them, that's all you have to do Mom, just forgive her." ....................

Please tell me how on God's good earth I can be mad after that?? I Love these kids :)

This time I must dash, I just had to run and save Connor's chicken nuggets from being drenched in strawberry flavoured syrup instead of tomato sauce.

Nappies vs "Books"....."books"

Over the weekend, the kids spent loads of time outside enjoying the last little bits of Summer we have left, in fact, I have been trying to give them a sun "overload", more for my own sanity, I can tell you keeping 3 kids couped up indoors for 3 to 4 months is no laughing matter.

Anyway, my little Snuggle Bug, does not like to swim with his nappy on and always asks for "books"(brooks). I am quite happy to oblige because after a few seconds in the pool the real capabilities of a pampers nappy is put to the test, I am still impressed and realise I am not waiting nearly long enough before I change the little bugger!

After all the swimming and slip-n-sliding and sprinkling, it was time to change from "books" to nappy, but Snuggle Bug wouldn't hear of it. He kept those little knees of his so tightly squeezed together, nothing was getting passed them or in between them for that matter. "Books, books" he insisted!!! Fine, fine, we'll get books, could we please just put on some dry books? This was negotiable and we managed to pull up some dry books between some very suspicious knees.

I was completely unprepared for the whole potty training thing with Connor, simply because the other two took forever before they decided they were ready, I mean, Kade was almost four before I could take off his night nappy and Caley was 3 and a half. Connor is only turning 3 in May, so I was completely unprepared and, sadly must admit , not in the mood for this. I have spent the last three weeks in tooth hell, have been a HELL of a mother and wife because of it and was really not in the mood for accidents, so as nicely as I could possibly threaten the little bugger, I did just that.

OK, so I wasn't that mean, he's my little Snuggle Bug after all. It was more of a begging reminder, please, please don't wee wee in the "books", please use the toilet. My "big talker" just gives me a nod and while they were still running around outside I didn't feel too much panic and every now and again I called out to check if he needed to weee-uh as he puts it. When he decided now was the time to weee-uh we would dash for the nearest facility and voila!!

My little Snuggle Bug, party in the potty time. Hooorray!!

He insists on doing it like the bigger kids and refuses to use the step or the kiddie toilet lid. It is half hysterical and half nerve wrecking watching him cautiously climb on the toilet in the most indescribable and awkward manner I have ever seen and then stretch his little legs right across the top of the toilet like something that resembles "the splits" from ballet class. Thankfully the way he has chosen to sit gives the "little hose" nowhere else to go but into the toilet, phew.

We did some serious negotiating at nap and bed times, (which thankfully turned in MY favour) and I was allowed to put a nappy on him at nap and bed time only and he wore his "books" the rest of the time, incredibly he spent the whole weekend running around happily and dry in his "books".

Today we went to show off for the teacher. I loaded the school bag with probably half a dozen undies and shorts and a few nappies, just in case the teacher gave up. I Stressed my way through the 45 minutes it takes to get through all the schools; his is the last stop, (stopping at each school loo, just in case, but no, no weee-uh) then hoping and praying that he wouldn't shout weee-uh in between lanes in the one spot where I just couldn't stop. I Padded the car seat with towels just in case we couldn't stop in the centre lane to take a wee-uh on the nearest anything that could be peed on!!! We made it to school high and dry and he played ever so coy for Aunty B. I think I made a bit too much of a fuss and, if he could talk, that would probably have been the point where he would have said "for goodness sake woman!! quit already, they're just freaking underpants!!"

To my delight I went to pick up Snuggle Bug from school and found him in the very same, and dry "books" and shorts he had on when we left. He had gone to the toilet about a dozen times I was told and made two weee-uh's, and had no accidents.

I am so proud of him, and often I feel a little guilty that I underestimate him because he is the "baby" in the family and at times like this I realise my baby "Snuggle Bug" isn't going to be my baby forever. It may sound a little silly but being in nappies is one of the last "baby like" things that he still does so I guess in a way it is sad, knowing that my kiddies ARE all going to grow up. I am holding on to the one hope that, my snuggle bug, who cuddles into my neck when he goes to sleep will still want to snuggle with his Mommy every now and then, even when he's a big boy.