Pre-Clean Clean.

In case you haven't heard yet or don't know me well enough to know; bugs and dirt freak me out.....completely. While I am not the world's best house keeper and my home may not always be super tidy-ish, I hope to think that is is clean. I am not a fan of dust or their mite supporters and groupies, I am not big on spider webs or their eight legged creators. I do not ever want to have to be afraid to reach underneath the sofa for a missing toy and have anxiety attacks and images of my arm returning minus a finger or hand....Yes...I know the imagination is far too overactive.

Our little unwelcome visitors that decided to make themselves at home in Madam Fluff's hair have, of course, completely freaked me. As mentioned previously we are lice and nit free and just to be absolutely, without a doubt certain, I intend on purchasing another bottle of THE shampoo, which hopefully still comes with THE free comb and will proceed to anti-lice-shampoo every one in the house again tomorrow. And first thing Monday the carpet cleaners will be here armed to the hilt with every potion that will not only kill anything attempting to seek sanctuary in my home but leave me with fragrant carpets in a new shade of brown.

In an attempt to make sure that this operation will run smoothly, I took it upon myself to spring clean the house today as well as the carpets. My Mother thought I was rather anal and making too much unnecessary work for myself and I recall someone telling me I was a Nut. I beg to differ, I mean surely when one goes to the gynae, you make sure that you can dash home first or to the nearest facility and give yourself a quick spring clean THERE before he/she does the deed. Frankly I don't think I know of anyone who doesn't brush their teeth before going to the dentist. How is this different? I am a rather insecure individual and I cannot deal with the thought that I had given anyone reason to say anything bad about me and would rather the cleaners left here saying, "My weren't those carpets sooo clean, I'm surprised she needed us at all". That image my insecure persona can live with.

Perhaps I am anal and perhaps I could be called Nutty on occasion, it's in the genes I'm afraid, but on Monday morning I'll be waiting at the front door with my "Bree van der Kamp" smile, with fresh muffins and coffee waiting in the kitchen, just in case the cleaners need to be distracted from my dismal attempt at cleaning the carpets.

Updates

Thank you so much to all our dearest friends and family for your thoughts over this past week. I am only able to briefly give an update on the goings on in the Nut house...err...sorry...here at home.

Snuggle Bug is recovering nicely, his little tush is healing very well and doesn't seem to be bothering him much at all anymore. His laceration appears to be closing up and he is back to his usual daredevil self. Should anyone wish to send forewarning to Aunty B, my busiest little Bee will be back at school on Monday.

To all of you who have been keeping a safe distance at the sight of us, especially poor Madam Fluff, let it be known that we have worn out the free comb and almost all of THE shampoo and I am pleased to announce that we are Lice and Nit free. Feel free to hug, kiss and cuddle anytime. For my own peace of mind we have anti-lice-shampooed everything in the house that moves bar the goldfish, boiled everything bar the children and the carpet cleaners will be here on Monday.

Kade is now the proud owner of his entire uniform, costing another small fortune and bankrupting another small country. To ensure that Mother Nature doesn't attempt to get the better of us again, we are now armed with the tracksuit top...AND pants, the raincoat and a school umbrella....so there....now could that darn neon light just run out of batteries already.

Our local airport has been very quiet of late as our one (and only) very special client, Mr. Hubby has yet to make his return through our terminal. We expect to see him during the course of the weekend, where we will be treating him to our own very special and unique service.


Thank you and goodnight.

Guilt

Yesterday brought on a sampling of what Winter is about to bring; a little rain, clouds and a distinctive chill in the air, which sent me digging into the black, dark hole that is the kid's cupboards, in search of something, not only warm but that still fits.

While dressing up Madam Fluff and Snuggle Bug in their woollies, I noticed that poor Kade didn't have his uniform in it's entirety. We have the suitcase, shorts, shirt, socks, shoes, hat and tracksuit top, but alas not tracksuit pants. Having spent, what is some small developing countries, is considered a fortune already on all the school gear, we decided that the tracksuit pants and raincoat could wait a little while longer. We were saving that purchase for "a rainy day". Well our rainy day snuck upon us and still no tracksuit pants.

Driving in the car on the way to school, it appeared, ZAP, flicker, flicker, zzztt, zzztt, it just appeared from nowhere....a bright, blazing, couldn't miss it if you tried, neon GUILTY light. I kept quiet, my eyes shifty, hoping nobody would the see guilt that just crept into them. I glanced around quickly, looking at Fluff in her jeans, Bug in his tracksuit and me in my long pants and poor Kade with goose-fleshy legs in his shorts. At that stage I realised the heaviness of guilt, it puts a weight on your heart, making it feel like it is going to drop right through your gut into your feet. In an attempt to remove the guilt, I tried to shift it onto the school; I mean is it really MY fault that the clothing shop is only open two days a week? It didn't work very well; guilt just reminded me that the shop was open the day before and had I checked the weather I would have realised that the rainy day purchase was err....NOW...

When we arrived at the school, I noticed quite a lot of children running, happily, (I made myself believe) in shorts and just wearing their warm tops. Hang on, is that a "guilty" neon sign I see flashing above THAT Mother's head, I look again, no, I must be seeing things, or perhaps it is the blinding light of my own neon guilty sign, shining so bright it is reflecting on everything and everyone.

Thankfully, as the day progressed, it gradually got warmer and warmer and my neon guilt light seemed to lose it's spark and fizzle out, the heaviness of my heart seemed to ease up, yet not completely. I scratch around the study, in search of the notice that states the days and times that the clothing shop is open. Found it. Thursday, we'll be there, before they open to purchase the tracksuit pants, Ha Ha, Mother Nature "bring on" your next rainy day.

Until then, I really must find someone, anyone, able to repair this faulty-light-up-at-any-moment-without-warning neon light of mine.

Pack of Three's

I'm exhausted.....yet quite relaxed and satisfied sitting here, believeing...BELIEVING...that nothing else can possibly go wrong today. I've had my "pack of three's".

No. 2's bring us to No.1.
Snuggle Bug is still in "feeling sorry for myself" mode, which he rightfully should be. (see Red Alert) After having spent most of yesterday desperately trying to hold in any #2's for risk of injuring his little tush, today he just couldn't hold it in any longer and produced all of yesterday and today's natural deposits or should I say withdrawals, no, they were pretty much evicted with vengeance, all five nappy fulls.

Result: Snuggle Bug spent a better part of the day in salt baths and antiseptic ointment. Mom spent a better part of the day administering it all.

No. 2
Just when you think that with three kids you've surely seen and been through it all, Madam Fluff appears to have the horror of all horrors and the not-ever-mentioned-you-didn't hear-it from-me....Nits......thank goodness it doesn't appear to be full blown head lice but as a precautionary measure we all packed into the car off to the pharmacy for THE shampoo *ahem* with free comb, like that's gonna make you feel sooo much better!!

Result: Madam Fluff had a 20 minute mid afternoon bath, with Mother applying just a little more than suggested of the product and combing and combing and combing...with the free comb of course.

Result of the result: The boys (one little one in particular, to protect the innocent, no names will be mentioned) proceeded to transport EVERY single container filled with toys and dumped them, tossed them, every single one of them on the lounge floor. (Kept sane by reminding myself that at least he is only playing with toys, which keeps any other harmful potential, hopefully, at bay.)

No. 3
In an attempt to rescue Snuggle Bug (who of course did not believe he needed rescuing), balancing tight rope style along a hip high wall and from making another hole in his little body, this time in his head. We reach whammy No.3. As I grabbed little bug from the wall, Kade lets out a blood curling scream, that I am sure awoke one or two dead folk at the cemetery 2 km's down the road. What? what? what happened?.....he stood on a bee and the stinging sack of poison evidence was still lodged between two of his digits. A few minutes later, having convinced the hysterical (don't know where he gets it from) child to let me actually look at his foot, we remove the poison sack left behind by the dizzy, dying but still buzzing bee spinning around on the paving. Thankfully he doesn't appear to have any allergies as a few hours later when asked how his foot was, he couldn't remember which foot it was.

I have my pack of three children, who managed to provide me with my pack of three "challenges" for the day, so you see I am tired, yet perfectly relaxed, BELIEVING that nothing else can go wrong today.

Result: An early night.

Second House from the Corner Airport

Dear Mr. Hubby

Welcome to "Second House From the Corner Airport"; We are a small local private airport situated aproximately 25 minutes from the tarmac.
The cafeteria/coffee shop is located next to the VIP visitors lounge and upon request will serve coffee at 04h30 in the morning, to request breakfast at this time is to push one's luck too far.
Our team of one friendly staff member will pack your luggage (overnight or for a week) neatly into your travel bag or bags, how ever many is requested.
The packing of clean, neatly pressed clothing, sanitary wear, cosmetics and the occasional surprise snack, love note or magazine is an added extra supplied with love for your convenience.
We accept no responsibility for any items not packed in your suitcase; This includes itineraries, ID books, cell phones and/or chargers as well as your freaking wallet...ahem.
We are currently in the process of negotiating with our suppliers for baggage trolleys and therefor arranging to get your luggage from the Airport to your vehicle is your own problem, sorry, *ahem*, your responsibility.
WE will however be more than willing to accompany you to your vehicle, kiss and hug you goodbye and wish you a safe journey; please do not expect that we get out of our PJ's for this privilege.
Our one staff member will give you a courtesy call to find out if you've reached your destination, keep in regular contact with you to ensure your safety and to keep you updated on current events; It is not unusual for the three apprentices to have some current event news of their own which they will very likely be inclined to share.
Upon your return, our one friendly staff member and her three apprentices will greet you at the entrance, embrace you and tell you how very much they missed you and that they are so very happy that you have made a safe return to the airport.

In between trips please feel free to attempt to steal any moment that you can to recoup and recover from your very demanding recent trip. (This can regrettably yet understandably be hampered by the eagerness of the airport's three apprentices and the updates of the latest events, by your very own personal assistant, who, by the way, is also our one, friendly and helpful staff member.)

We regret that you were not adequately able to recover entirely from your most recent trip as a mere 24 hours later almost precisely to the minute, you had left the building, suitcase in hand (ok I won't lie, this time packed by himself....).
We dishearteningly watched you proceed to your vehicle which transported you almost to the tarmac of the airplane waiting to take you to your next destination, leaving our one staff member and her three apprentices feeling the void of your absence and waiting eagerly to provide you with their very own unique service upon your return.

Mr. Hubby, our cherrished Husband and Daddy; We wish you a pleasant, safe journey and flight and we thank you for frequenting our "Second House From the Corner Airport".
Should you have any comments or queries, please contact our one, very friendly staff member and/our three apprentices. Complaints can be kept to yourself.

With Love
Our One very friendly staff member

Red Alert (blood mentioned)

I was excited and happy, feeling the thrills of the beginning of the weekend. Sharing the exhilaration of Mr's Primary School night Marathon at which both Mr and Madam Fluff (who just couldn't help herself and participated anyway) showed their athletic abilities or in Kade's case the lack there of, he found it way more fun strolling around the school field twirling and tossing his relay baton in the air, dropping it, picking it up, realising he was actually there for a purpose and jogging a few meters, then continued twirling the baton, in fact when Madam Fluff was running along with him, she spent half her time literally dragging him around the track.

Saturday was spent trying to keep hydrated and cool but still enjoy a fun day at home, myself, my mother and the kids. I kept thinking to myself how it was such a pity that Mark had to be away for business this weekend, he was missing some awesome stuff.
I set the sprinkler up next to the slide and the kids loved speeding down the slide and then skidding off down the grass looking somewhat like little bobsledders on turf. Not wanting to get any grass burns or grazes, I place their slip-n-slide at the end of the slide and they squealed with delight at the now super long slide that seemed to reach to the end of the garden.

While attempting to be in three places at once; the kitchen, quickly warming up dinner, the bedroom, "just quickly" looking at something Mr was building and the bathroom where Snuggle Bug was rinsing off all the dirt and grass, Red Alert, panic!

As I walked into the bathroom I found him up on the side of the bath peering out of the window, playing some sort of peek a boo game with Fluff, who was outside. "No, No, No, I don't think so" and I carefully took him by the hand to lead him back down safely into the bath. Slipping and sliding was just too much fun and he attempted to slip down the side of the bath which ended up with him landing , really landing, literally landing on the tap handle. He gave me this strained look with little eye's filled with fear and grabbed at his buttocks. I thought he had just given it a knock and probably bruised the little buns on his slide down, when I tried to lift him, it was at that point I realised he was stuck, on the tap handle. Millions of the worst possible visions filled my head and more that didn't want to fill my head and I let out a blood curdling scream " MOOOOOOOMMMMEEEEEEE". My mother came rushing into the bathroom, took him from me while I reached for a towel, we rushed through to the lounge, wrapped him up and sat him on my Mother's knee in an attempt to calm him and then to see what, if any, damage had been done. Mr. was the first to notice the blood dripping down my Mom's white pants, we flipped him over, pulled his little buns apart and revealed a gaping wound. I felt like letting out another blood curling scream, my heart pounded in my chest and in my throat and it's pace quickened at a speed I couldn't keep up with, my body began to weaken as the blood drained from it and the ends of my fingers began to tinkle, I felt drunk in my head. I managed to let out a shout to the kids to get in the car.

The Medi-clinic is about a 5 minute drive from my house and it felt like the longest five minutes of my life. With my heart still out of control, my shaking body and hands fighting to keep control of the steering wheel we made it to the E.R. I announced myself and my situation to the nurse and we were hurried into the procedure room. Thank you Lord that the bleeding had stopped.
At that moment I realised poor Snuggle Bug was still in the bath towel and that the bag I had thrown together with nappies and clothes, I think, was still waiting patiently for me on the kitchen counter along side the dinner which was now only half prepared and where was my cell phone? The E.R. Nurses checked his wound, gave me the forms to fill out, and assured me someone would be there shortly.

An hour had passed by and Snuggle Bug, my brave, very brave little hero, was lying stomach down on my chest with his little head snuggled into my shoulder. Someone passed by and I called to her, "please" I asked as politely as I could "is somebody coming?". "I'm sorry" she replied "we've had an emergency, a patient has stopped breathing, a doctor will be with you shortly." I sighed, I cried softly so as not to let Snuggle Bug see my distress and while not wanting to be selfish, heartless or thoughtless my mind kept saying, "but what about my baby?"
I prayed and softly cried some more, I asked my little brave heart if he was alright and he let out a little whimper "mmmm" he let out with a sniff sniff and a quivering bottom lip, tears welling up in his little blue eyes, I held him as close as I possibly could and cried and prayed some more.

Almost two hours later a surgeon came through to look at "this laceration". I explained what had happened and was told that by the Grace of God, this was not as serious as it could have been. He proceeded to matter-of-factly-medically-textbookly inform me how serious this could have been. He had a gash about 3cm long between his anus and the base of his spine. Had the tap lodged itself 3 cm in any other direction, we could have been repairing a torn rectum or damaged spine. Thank you Lord that it isn't. Although the surgeon assured me that where the laceration was, and as long and as deep as the "gash" appeared, it didn't need suturing. I kept asking for his reassurance and he reiterated that because the wound was in the crease of the buttocks, it would naturally close itself. Suturing is only required when the gash is gaping and needs to be physically held together in order to heal. I was sent home with orders on how to keep the wound clean with the antiseptic ointment now clutched in my hand and instructed to come back in a few days to ensure that no infection had set in.

Two and a half hours after our ordeal began; feeling drained, tired, relieved, racked with guilt and remorse for having had this happen to my child on my watch; with three very tired and hungry children and one very sore one, we head home. Mr and Madam Fluff told me how that asked Jesus to keep Snuggle Bug safe and make sure he wasn't too badly hurt and I let out a little prayer thanking God that my Snuggle Bug wasn't more severely hurt and although he can't be as rough and tough as he usually is for a while, he will recover and for that I thank God.